Fantasy comic book stories can teach us a lot. oh, laugh if you will but I'm being serious. I like a story that captures universal, timeless themes like integrity, honesty, valor. I just do.
So, the other night I brought my 12 year old to Thor at the Riverview, a special treat for him to go to the late show. We didn't get home until midnight. He had to sleep until 11 the next day to recover, while I got up at 6:30 for work. I guess that's because I'm so used to doing cool things like going to late movies. (I'm teasing him)
Anyway, it was great for just the two of us to spend time together, while his little brother is at camp (even though I miss him terribly!) We both really enjoyed the movie and we talked about the importance of standing up for what's right - Thor had to learn a really hard lesson that knocked his ego down a few notches. Then he regained his power. (spoiler)
As a parent, Odin had to show Thor some tough love and banish him until he could learn his lesson, the hard way. It's a good reminder for parenting - we don't do these kiddo-s any favors by pampering. I guess what it made me think about is to continue holding my boys to high standards- good grades, working hard.. even small things like finishing their homework before they get to play video games, or not getting to go to the late movie until all the dishes are done. It would definitely be easier to take the path of least resistance and let things slide, but then they'd be lazy, arrogant men walking around on this planet, inflicting themselves on others.
Speaking of camp, now the little one is back and the big one left today. It is emotional once again. As I think about the difference between my two kids, my youngest is more likely to show his emotion, so I might offer him more affection naturally. The oldest is just as emotional, but it's not as visible. So I remind myself to give him hugs and the kisses that he wipes off his cheek because I know he needs it too. He's definitely in the "ah, mom" stage where I am starting to embarrass him. It's pretty funny. The younger guy is starting to do this too, at a much younger age.
I hope he has a wonderful week - I miss him terribly. He is very responsible and helpful, and also he chats a lot. He often makes me laugh during the day with his witty observations. Ugh. I just hope he has fun. 12 is starting to be the awkward age.
I apologize for my sort of non-flowing post. I guess it's not the easiest feat to talk about the depth of love for my kids, and the ongoing lessons and challenges that come with being a mom.
Happy almost August! Where has this summer gone? We better live it up during this last month!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thoughts on letting go
The depth of emotion that goes with motherhood is difficult to capture in words.
I just said good-bye to my nine year old. He is going to a YMCA camp from now until Friday. He is on the bus right now, making his way to his big adventure. I am still crying, which is totally irrational. Why am I crying? Am I afraid something will happen to him? Not really. Why this sadness over him being gone for a few days? Maybe because it reminds me that he will someday be gone forever, not in my life everyday, because the mark of successful parenting is when your kids leave you and follow their own path. How ironic is that.
A friend said recently that once you become a parent, you forever wear your heart on the outside of your skin - dangerous. It is the most vulnerable feeling you can imagine. And it doesn't quite make sense. It must have to do with the fact that they are literally part of us walking around, exposed and open to the world, that we would die without a thought of ourselves if we could save them...that we have watched them grow from birth, that we have protected them, kept them alive, nurtured them, taught them, all with the goal that they will grow up strong and leave us. It's torture really.
I will take comfort in the fact that having these feelings means I am human, alive, and mentally sound. Even though I want to fight it and push it away, I know it's what it means to be a mother and feel this vulnerable and full of emotion. It's what I chose.
There's been so much written about motherhood and fatherhood, with good reason. It's the strongest bond imaginable and I'm grateful that I get to experience it, even if it's painful at times.
I just said good-bye to my nine year old. He is going to a YMCA camp from now until Friday. He is on the bus right now, making his way to his big adventure. I am still crying, which is totally irrational. Why am I crying? Am I afraid something will happen to him? Not really. Why this sadness over him being gone for a few days? Maybe because it reminds me that he will someday be gone forever, not in my life everyday, because the mark of successful parenting is when your kids leave you and follow their own path. How ironic is that.
A friend said recently that once you become a parent, you forever wear your heart on the outside of your skin - dangerous. It is the most vulnerable feeling you can imagine. And it doesn't quite make sense. It must have to do with the fact that they are literally part of us walking around, exposed and open to the world, that we would die without a thought of ourselves if we could save them...that we have watched them grow from birth, that we have protected them, kept them alive, nurtured them, taught them, all with the goal that they will grow up strong and leave us. It's torture really.
I will take comfort in the fact that having these feelings means I am human, alive, and mentally sound. Even though I want to fight it and push it away, I know it's what it means to be a mother and feel this vulnerable and full of emotion. It's what I chose.
There's been so much written about motherhood and fatherhood, with good reason. It's the strongest bond imaginable and I'm grateful that I get to experience it, even if it's painful at times.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Quick and Random
Aw, that's not what I meant. Why'd you have to go and be dirty like that?
It's the wee hours of the night and I have been up way too late way too often... (could it be I'm trying to savor every last second of this short summer we have?--- fleeting.)
Anyway, I've never traveled to Japan and was surprised to learn about these capsule hotels. They're not new news, but we don't have them here in the U.S. Check it out - Google is weird about inserting a link to images, so just do your own search (sorry) - capsule hotels Japan.
I am intrigued. The photos remind me of Hollywood Squares, stacked on top of each other, except for sleeping purposes, not for exchanging witty banter - or singing the Brady Bunch song. Freaky. I don't know if I could handle it or if I would have a panic attack. It also reminds me of that horrible scene in the X-Files movie... and then wasn't there one like that in the Matrix? Creepy. And I think it instills a primal fear that we may be reduced to such living quarters in the future if the government ever took control in some weird futuristic control -- AAAHH!! Also an ADD moment- need to watch both of those above mentioned movies again. 10 years is far too long. Details are forgotten.
And a related ADD side note, why did I ever read the book "Coma" by Robin Cook as a 14 year old. There are certain word images that will never leave my brain... an interesting future post.
Here is the other random (thought, not encounter, geez)-
Mary Olson, fabulous local artist. I forgot how much I love her work and forgot about the days when considering real live art was in my purchase budget. Hopefully those days will be back. They will.
In the meantime, the background is when I worked for a marketing company in DT Mpls, we hosted an art event that featured local artists. Mary Olson was one. Her work was displayed on our walls for awhile.. and there was one specific painting I always hoped to buy. It sold. But check out this one.. called "Trees" - fantastic.
http://www.mnartists.org/work.do?rid=252348
A salute to local artists and a tilt of the head in confusion about capsule hotels and Robin Cook.
Night night.
It's the wee hours of the night and I have been up way too late way too often... (could it be I'm trying to savor every last second of this short summer we have?--- fleeting.)
Anyway, I've never traveled to Japan and was surprised to learn about these capsule hotels. They're not new news, but we don't have them here in the U.S. Check it out - Google is weird about inserting a link to images, so just do your own search (sorry) - capsule hotels Japan.
I am intrigued. The photos remind me of Hollywood Squares, stacked on top of each other, except for sleeping purposes, not for exchanging witty banter - or singing the Brady Bunch song. Freaky. I don't know if I could handle it or if I would have a panic attack. It also reminds me of that horrible scene in the X-Files movie... and then wasn't there one like that in the Matrix? Creepy. And I think it instills a primal fear that we may be reduced to such living quarters in the future if the government ever took control in some weird futuristic control -- AAAHH!! Also an ADD moment- need to watch both of those above mentioned movies again. 10 years is far too long. Details are forgotten.
And a related ADD side note, why did I ever read the book "Coma" by Robin Cook as a 14 year old. There are certain word images that will never leave my brain... an interesting future post.
Here is the other random (thought, not encounter, geez)-
Mary Olson, fabulous local artist. I forgot how much I love her work and forgot about the days when considering real live art was in my purchase budget. Hopefully those days will be back. They will.
In the meantime, the background is when I worked for a marketing company in DT Mpls, we hosted an art event that featured local artists. Mary Olson was one. Her work was displayed on our walls for awhile.. and there was one specific painting I always hoped to buy. It sold. But check out this one.. called "Trees" - fantastic.
http://www.mnartists.org/work.do?rid=252348
A salute to local artists and a tilt of the head in confusion about capsule hotels and Robin Cook.
Night night.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Busy Body
Work is so busy right now. It's the height of the busiest month for loan closings and I am feeling pretty exhausted so this will be a brief post.
I also had to rush from work early to bring my 12 year old to the doctor for his 12 year old wellness visit. He had to have 3 immunizations - tetanus, chicken pox and meningitis.. so his arms are really sore. I'm so happy and grateful to report that he is the picture of health. He is now over 5 feet tall and weighs over 90 pounds. To believe that I am the mother of this boy-man is actually surreal. I have to say it and don't hate me for it but WHERE DID THE TIME GO? Needless to say, I am overwhelmed with pride for both of my boys.
Next week, my 12 year old starts his week long fencing "camp". I think it's great that he wants to try something unique.
So, my title is referencing my crazy summer schedule and also the character of Ally McBeal. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that she is in everybody's business is supposed to be heroic? When I watch tv shows, I often wonder about the thought that goes behind character development and how deliberate certain traits are and how we are supposed to respond to them, as opposed to how the other characters respond and react to them.
I don't want to lay a ton of ground work here because I am oozing laziness, but Ally works at a law firm with her serious ex boyfriend a la love of her life and his wife. Ex is Billy, his wife is Georgia. So, you can imagine there has been a lot of drama - beginning with their first "re-meeting" to realizing they are hired to work at the same firm to then realizing he is now married. Then his wife loses her job so she is hired as well.
In the episode I watched tonight, Georgia ran into one of her old flames. She wanted Ally to meet him. Then Georgia sort of dominated the situation (dinner for 4) by talking to him and dancing with him. So, Ally felt put out and confronted Georgia about it, telling her that she was using Ally as an excuse to spend time with him. Georgia later admitted it was true.
The point of my irritation came when Georgia and this guy were talking outside the courtroom in a private conversation and pose and he was about to brush something off her shoulder or something and Ally came running from the other side of the room, making this loud noise, to try to stop whatever was about to happen.
I guess my thought is - what is behind this character being the moral police for EVERYONE around here - I kid you not. She dispenses advice non-stop to anyone and everyone. So, is the intent for us to feel annoyed? I sort of think the intent is for us to adore her and to admire her morals. I'm not sure. I guess I have never known anyone quite like her and she would drive me crazy. I am completely and utterly opposed to cheating. I don't think Georgia should have been flirting with this old flame, but remember the rule of supply and demand? If you are constantly announcing your opinion when it's not asked for, it cheapens it. And yet, maybe this genius strategy is for us to love her and her flawed ways, kind of like the characters in Sex In the City. I'm not sure. I'm speculating and I'm judging, no question.
I don't know if I made my point because I love the whole show Ally McBeal. I love watching the quirky cases they argue. And I love the premise of so many aspects of the show. But now I'm wondering if this aspect of her character is going to bug me in future episodes.
Good Night and let the mind rest. As my dad said every night as he tucked me in - "Tomorrow's another big day." and that it is.
I also had to rush from work early to bring my 12 year old to the doctor for his 12 year old wellness visit. He had to have 3 immunizations - tetanus, chicken pox and meningitis.. so his arms are really sore. I'm so happy and grateful to report that he is the picture of health. He is now over 5 feet tall and weighs over 90 pounds. To believe that I am the mother of this boy-man is actually surreal. I have to say it and don't hate me for it but WHERE DID THE TIME GO? Needless to say, I am overwhelmed with pride for both of my boys.
Next week, my 12 year old starts his week long fencing "camp". I think it's great that he wants to try something unique.
So, my title is referencing my crazy summer schedule and also the character of Ally McBeal. Sometimes I wonder if the fact that she is in everybody's business is supposed to be heroic? When I watch tv shows, I often wonder about the thought that goes behind character development and how deliberate certain traits are and how we are supposed to respond to them, as opposed to how the other characters respond and react to them.
I don't want to lay a ton of ground work here because I am oozing laziness, but Ally works at a law firm with her serious ex boyfriend a la love of her life and his wife. Ex is Billy, his wife is Georgia. So, you can imagine there has been a lot of drama - beginning with their first "re-meeting" to realizing they are hired to work at the same firm to then realizing he is now married. Then his wife loses her job so she is hired as well.
In the episode I watched tonight, Georgia ran into one of her old flames. She wanted Ally to meet him. Then Georgia sort of dominated the situation (dinner for 4) by talking to him and dancing with him. So, Ally felt put out and confronted Georgia about it, telling her that she was using Ally as an excuse to spend time with him. Georgia later admitted it was true.
The point of my irritation came when Georgia and this guy were talking outside the courtroom in a private conversation and pose and he was about to brush something off her shoulder or something and Ally came running from the other side of the room, making this loud noise, to try to stop whatever was about to happen.
I guess my thought is - what is behind this character being the moral police for EVERYONE around here - I kid you not. She dispenses advice non-stop to anyone and everyone. So, is the intent for us to feel annoyed? I sort of think the intent is for us to adore her and to admire her morals. I'm not sure. I guess I have never known anyone quite like her and she would drive me crazy. I am completely and utterly opposed to cheating. I don't think Georgia should have been flirting with this old flame, but remember the rule of supply and demand? If you are constantly announcing your opinion when it's not asked for, it cheapens it. And yet, maybe this genius strategy is for us to love her and her flawed ways, kind of like the characters in Sex In the City. I'm not sure. I'm speculating and I'm judging, no question.
I don't know if I made my point because I love the whole show Ally McBeal. I love watching the quirky cases they argue. And I love the premise of so many aspects of the show. But now I'm wondering if this aspect of her character is going to bug me in future episodes.
Good Night and let the mind rest. As my dad said every night as he tucked me in - "Tomorrow's another big day." and that it is.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Thoughts on love
Random post, perhaps.
I may or may not have disclosed in any recent posts that the father of my children, almost ex-husband, is leaving in November for basic training. He joined the army, at age 35. There is a lot of history there and you can draw your own conclusions. You can also trust that there will be many sequential posts as we all adjust to this massive upheaval in our lives.
As you can imagine, the break up of our marriage was the first in the series of upheaval. My children have had to adjust to a lot of changes, thrown at them at break neck speed. He is living with a girlfriend. He is joining the army. The latter being the biggest deal of all.
Because of our history and because I care about him as the father of our two amazing boys, I don't want this post to come across as judgemental or critical. There is just a lot of change that comes along with his decision, and my job is to help my kids transition as painlessly as possible.
As a result, I have done some research on the military and am actually kind of fascinated. It is a realm of existence I am pretty much clueless about. And there is a lot to learn. It is its own culture, no question.
So in the way the universe lays things out for us, my soon to be ex told me on a Thursday in January what his plans were. There was a long application process and a lot of steps he had to take. I know of the ones he chose to share with me and I have no doubt there are countless others. He didn't get accepted until April if that sheds any light on the hoops he had to jump through. There was talk of waivers, physicals, explaining derogatory credit, psychology tests, and so forth.
Anyway, two days later, that following Saturday, I was approached by a guy at my favorite local Mexican restaurant/bar. He lingered behind his group that was leaving and asked my friend and I if he could buy us drinks. I'm pretty sure I posted about this previously but am far too lazy to read back blog posts.
The shortened version of the situation is it turned out this guy is in the Navy and has since shipped out. We communicated off and on until he left. He kept apologizing about the timing of things, but I didn't understand what was going on.
So, because of my interest in my first husband's (should I just reveal his name and get over using all these lengthy descriptions of my relationship to him??) new career choice, and this high quality guy I was privileged to meet and know briefly over a span of a couple of months, I was doing Internet research. My research found a lot of helpful information, like how to talk to children about coping with deployment. I also found countless blogs. The one I was drawn to and have been following is: http://www.thejourneyofanavywife.com/ .
It's interesting to read about drama amongst military wives and a lot of the things they experience. There's a whole language related to the military as well. So, for this Navy wife, her latest post mentioned her husband will be coming home after six months at sea. I can't even imagine how a homecoming like that must go - nervous feelings, wondering if things have changed, both of you experiencing things that you can't really explain or describe to your significant other.
And, I have to say, at the risk of glorifying something very difficult for people to experience, there is an element of sexiness and romance to the whole thing. There is something old fashioned and really, what is the word I'm looking for - maybe classic? about a man going off on a long journey to wage war, hunt for food, or whatever the purpose has been throughout history.
It's not about whether or not you agree with United States politics and global strategy. It's about a man or woman making a commitment to serve. And I think it's really admirable. I've always been one to tear up when I sing the national anthem, and I guess this all just adds to that sentiment. I can pick apart our country all day long, and believe me I have... but tonight, as a woman who can vote and enjoy a lot of freedom, my heart is filled with gratitude. We will always have and need a military, and we can be grateful that we do.
To that point, I also found this posted on more than one blog profile of Navy wives and girlfriends:
"I am in love with a United States sailor. I will support them in their defense of the Constitution of the United States of America. And I will understand that they must obey the orders of those appointed over them. I represent the true fighting spirit of the Navy. And those who have gone before me with strength and loyalty around the world. I proudly stand by the one I love with honor, courage and commitment. I am committed to my sailor and the United States Navy."
If that's not romantic and doesn't incite any type of fantasy or image of those long kisses on the docks by the sea, then we simply have to agree to disagree.
It's a story as old as time - the story of the Sirens, the mermaids, the men at sea- tattoos, pirates, anchors. I find it very intriguing.
It brings me back to the title of my post because all this reading about love made me think of my view of love. In so many ways I'm grateful for what I have experienced these past couple of years. My view of love has changed. I think the view I have now is more liberating and it helps me in my practice of balance and non attachment, relinquishing control, etc.
When I read the blog post about her husband coming home, my heart filled up with love because of their love. I think it's wonderful and heart touching to read of a young woman's deep love for her husband at sea, and her pride at who he is. She's unafraid to write about it. And I think that's beautiful. I guess I also felt grateful that I'm not bitter - when I read all her love filled words, I smiled. After reading her blog for the past couple of months, today I made a comment and told her I wish her and her husband the best homecoming and the best future. I wouldn't want anyone to experience the heartbreak that comes with losing love.
I believe love is a flame, yes I know I'm not the first to say this, but this is a first for me to view it this way. And the flame can burn for a really really long time. And it can burn for only a little while. But while it is burning, it's there and it's real. We can't predict or control how long it lasts. Few people make it to "forever", but there are some who keep it going for a lifetime... so at the very least, this is what we have:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D17p0D-rks
It's "In My Life" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, beautifully sang - a reminder that it may not last forever, but the greatest part is being able to feel loved and be loved... until the next phase of life and love come along. Those we are with at any given moment are the right person for us at that time. It might be months, it might be years. And then we grow. We help each other along in our journey. The hardest part is letting go, but if we don't, we can't experience what's next for us - greater lessons and most likely greater love, provided we learned something from the one before.
So, congratulations to those are living it right now and have it in their grasp. Be willing to let it go if that day comes, and know that the universe is right there to take care of you until you find the next flame.
Also, a heartfelt thank you to all the people who sacrifice their time, lives, and convenience for our country.
I may or may not have disclosed in any recent posts that the father of my children, almost ex-husband, is leaving in November for basic training. He joined the army, at age 35. There is a lot of history there and you can draw your own conclusions. You can also trust that there will be many sequential posts as we all adjust to this massive upheaval in our lives.
As you can imagine, the break up of our marriage was the first in the series of upheaval. My children have had to adjust to a lot of changes, thrown at them at break neck speed. He is living with a girlfriend. He is joining the army. The latter being the biggest deal of all.
Because of our history and because I care about him as the father of our two amazing boys, I don't want this post to come across as judgemental or critical. There is just a lot of change that comes along with his decision, and my job is to help my kids transition as painlessly as possible.
As a result, I have done some research on the military and am actually kind of fascinated. It is a realm of existence I am pretty much clueless about. And there is a lot to learn. It is its own culture, no question.
So in the way the universe lays things out for us, my soon to be ex told me on a Thursday in January what his plans were. There was a long application process and a lot of steps he had to take. I know of the ones he chose to share with me and I have no doubt there are countless others. He didn't get accepted until April if that sheds any light on the hoops he had to jump through. There was talk of waivers, physicals, explaining derogatory credit, psychology tests, and so forth.
Anyway, two days later, that following Saturday, I was approached by a guy at my favorite local Mexican restaurant/bar. He lingered behind his group that was leaving and asked my friend and I if he could buy us drinks. I'm pretty sure I posted about this previously but am far too lazy to read back blog posts.
The shortened version of the situation is it turned out this guy is in the Navy and has since shipped out. We communicated off and on until he left. He kept apologizing about the timing of things, but I didn't understand what was going on.
So, because of my interest in my first husband's (should I just reveal his name and get over using all these lengthy descriptions of my relationship to him??) new career choice, and this high quality guy I was privileged to meet and know briefly over a span of a couple of months, I was doing Internet research. My research found a lot of helpful information, like how to talk to children about coping with deployment. I also found countless blogs. The one I was drawn to and have been following is: http://www.thejourneyofanavywife.com/ .
It's interesting to read about drama amongst military wives and a lot of the things they experience. There's a whole language related to the military as well. So, for this Navy wife, her latest post mentioned her husband will be coming home after six months at sea. I can't even imagine how a homecoming like that must go - nervous feelings, wondering if things have changed, both of you experiencing things that you can't really explain or describe to your significant other.
And, I have to say, at the risk of glorifying something very difficult for people to experience, there is an element of sexiness and romance to the whole thing. There is something old fashioned and really, what is the word I'm looking for - maybe classic? about a man going off on a long journey to wage war, hunt for food, or whatever the purpose has been throughout history.
It's not about whether or not you agree with United States politics and global strategy. It's about a man or woman making a commitment to serve. And I think it's really admirable. I've always been one to tear up when I sing the national anthem, and I guess this all just adds to that sentiment. I can pick apart our country all day long, and believe me I have... but tonight, as a woman who can vote and enjoy a lot of freedom, my heart is filled with gratitude. We will always have and need a military, and we can be grateful that we do.
To that point, I also found this posted on more than one blog profile of Navy wives and girlfriends:
"I am in love with a United States sailor. I will support them in their defense of the Constitution of the United States of America. And I will understand that they must obey the orders of those appointed over them. I represent the true fighting spirit of the Navy. And those who have gone before me with strength and loyalty around the world. I proudly stand by the one I love with honor, courage and commitment. I am committed to my sailor and the United States Navy."
If that's not romantic and doesn't incite any type of fantasy or image of those long kisses on the docks by the sea, then we simply have to agree to disagree.
It's a story as old as time - the story of the Sirens, the mermaids, the men at sea- tattoos, pirates, anchors. I find it very intriguing.
It brings me back to the title of my post because all this reading about love made me think of my view of love. In so many ways I'm grateful for what I have experienced these past couple of years. My view of love has changed. I think the view I have now is more liberating and it helps me in my practice of balance and non attachment, relinquishing control, etc.
When I read the blog post about her husband coming home, my heart filled up with love because of their love. I think it's wonderful and heart touching to read of a young woman's deep love for her husband at sea, and her pride at who he is. She's unafraid to write about it. And I think that's beautiful. I guess I also felt grateful that I'm not bitter - when I read all her love filled words, I smiled. After reading her blog for the past couple of months, today I made a comment and told her I wish her and her husband the best homecoming and the best future. I wouldn't want anyone to experience the heartbreak that comes with losing love.
I believe love is a flame, yes I know I'm not the first to say this, but this is a first for me to view it this way. And the flame can burn for a really really long time. And it can burn for only a little while. But while it is burning, it's there and it's real. We can't predict or control how long it lasts. Few people make it to "forever", but there are some who keep it going for a lifetime... so at the very least, this is what we have:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D17p0D-rks
It's "In My Life" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, beautifully sang - a reminder that it may not last forever, but the greatest part is being able to feel loved and be loved... until the next phase of life and love come along. Those we are with at any given moment are the right person for us at that time. It might be months, it might be years. And then we grow. We help each other along in our journey. The hardest part is letting go, but if we don't, we can't experience what's next for us - greater lessons and most likely greater love, provided we learned something from the one before.
So, congratulations to those are living it right now and have it in their grasp. Be willing to let it go if that day comes, and know that the universe is right there to take care of you until you find the next flame.
Also, a heartfelt thank you to all the people who sacrifice their time, lives, and convenience for our country.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Hope less
It took me a couple of days to recover from my latest blog mishap. arrggghhh, a pirate says arrggghhh..
Here's what happened : I spent countless minutes typing up a post about sodium. I'm a little fascinated right now with anatomy, digestion, probiotic theory and whatnot. The humid weather is making me retain water and I'm curious about it.
So, I dedicated my Thursday post to this topic and somehow deleted the entire thing before posting.
You may not believe me and that's okay. But I think it's safe to say it was the best post I have written, hands down. There's no proof, so it's safe to make that claim.
Anyway, by-gones.
I have had a fabulous weekend and enjoyed a lot of sunshine and pool time. This makes me happy and tingly down to my very toes. Friday night, we swam until about 1 a.m. and then followed it with a fire - what a perfect evening.
A highlight of the weekend also was going to a yoga class in my neighborhood Friday morning. I've taken a variety of yoga classes in my practice and this one wins. The teacher is fantastic. It was the best balance of spirituality, centering and an intense work out. My arms are still sore.
I plan to go back - they have classes M.W. and F mornings.
And I can walk, it is so close to where I live. I love that.
I think they have a website but they must not have very good google keywords because all I could get to come up was a map.
Anyway, I'll look at hunting down the website, or maybe I won't. Having only one other student in the class provided me with a lot of one on one attention. I worked up the perfect sweat and had the best day. Doing child pose makes me cry every time and that feeling of surrender and humility carries with me the whole day, which I truly need.
Have a great day!
Here's what happened : I spent countless minutes typing up a post about sodium. I'm a little fascinated right now with anatomy, digestion, probiotic theory and whatnot. The humid weather is making me retain water and I'm curious about it.
So, I dedicated my Thursday post to this topic and somehow deleted the entire thing before posting.
You may not believe me and that's okay. But I think it's safe to say it was the best post I have written, hands down. There's no proof, so it's safe to make that claim.
Anyway, by-gones.
I have had a fabulous weekend and enjoyed a lot of sunshine and pool time. This makes me happy and tingly down to my very toes. Friday night, we swam until about 1 a.m. and then followed it with a fire - what a perfect evening.
A highlight of the weekend also was going to a yoga class in my neighborhood Friday morning. I've taken a variety of yoga classes in my practice and this one wins. The teacher is fantastic. It was the best balance of spirituality, centering and an intense work out. My arms are still sore.
I plan to go back - they have classes M.W. and F mornings.
And I can walk, it is so close to where I live. I love that.
I think they have a website but they must not have very good google keywords because all I could get to come up was a map.
Anyway, I'll look at hunting down the website, or maybe I won't. Having only one other student in the class provided me with a lot of one on one attention. I worked up the perfect sweat and had the best day. Doing child pose makes me cry every time and that feeling of surrender and humility carries with me the whole day, which I truly need.
Have a great day!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Hello July
Okay, apologies to myself for breaking my promise to myself. There's a Guvner song "Break a Promise" - that's running thru my head right now.
It is a bad sign when the URL for my blog doesn't even show up in my own history and my internet explorer no longer knows to auto-populate the rest of the URL for this alleged blog.... and, it has been over 5 months since my last post.
I apologize to my writing because it has to go back to being rusty, rusty like fingers that don't remember how to write a letter or a journal entry in a lined black book.
It's sort of like yoga. When I am doing it regularly, I'm fairly good at it and the poses flow together fairly effortlessly. Mind you, that is after about 2 weeks of everyday yoga.
Then I don't do it for months, and it is starting over. So creaky mind, start thinking and writing.
Stephen Covey has something to say about it taking 21 days to form a new habit, but what does he say about breaking one? What does he say about getting out of a nice healthy routine? I will add it to my list of things to research and someday I will do a blog post answering all these random questions I have posed to myself.
There is one habit I know I need to break - eating at night. Yikes. This was something I didn't do before this past winter. Curse you, Winter of 2010-2011. Your hold on me was strong. I developed some unhealthy drinking and eating habits - If I'm home, I watch something on Netflix, or read and of course eat along with it. and such healthy things like cheese and crackers. It doesn't take long to gain 15-20 pounds. While I don't have a scale, that's what I'm guessing. In reality, it's probably 10 but it feels heavy in this humid weather.
Anyway, enough about winter, enough apologies, enough rambling about weight because there are few things more boring than listening to a girl lament her weight, for real, I get it. I'm bored myself. It's just hard to undo six (or wasn't winter more like eight this year?) months of winter inactivity, even though that's no excuse.
I'm really here to put in a plug for the most beautiful advice column I have happened upon. Thanks to The Sun magazine for republishing one of her letters and introducing me to her. Thanks to Rachel for The Sun subscription these past two Christmases which has led to beautiful things for me.
Check her out:
Dear Sugar at www.therumpus.net.
Tomorrow I will post the column I keep reading and should really send to all my friends. It is heart wrenching and loving. It's something for young women to think about and remember. Life is fleeting and we get so wrapped up in so many things- we can't see it while we're in it. Sugar looks back and bares her soul for our benefit.
See, I'm laying the groundwork for a new good habit, a daily posting.
Will I remember? I'll give myself 21 days.
Now I have to go because I am completely hooked on these old Ally McBeal episodes. What did we do before Netflix watch instantly? Oh yeah, we paid $125 a month for cable. I still don't have TV. It is now 3 years.
Good Night and Happy Healthy Habit Forming!
It is a bad sign when the URL for my blog doesn't even show up in my own history and my internet explorer no longer knows to auto-populate the rest of the URL for this alleged blog.... and, it has been over 5 months since my last post.
I apologize to my writing because it has to go back to being rusty, rusty like fingers that don't remember how to write a letter or a journal entry in a lined black book.
It's sort of like yoga. When I am doing it regularly, I'm fairly good at it and the poses flow together fairly effortlessly. Mind you, that is after about 2 weeks of everyday yoga.
Then I don't do it for months, and it is starting over. So creaky mind, start thinking and writing.
Stephen Covey has something to say about it taking 21 days to form a new habit, but what does he say about breaking one? What does he say about getting out of a nice healthy routine? I will add it to my list of things to research and someday I will do a blog post answering all these random questions I have posed to myself.
There is one habit I know I need to break - eating at night. Yikes. This was something I didn't do before this past winter. Curse you, Winter of 2010-2011. Your hold on me was strong. I developed some unhealthy drinking and eating habits - If I'm home, I watch something on Netflix, or read and of course eat along with it. and such healthy things like cheese and crackers. It doesn't take long to gain 15-20 pounds. While I don't have a scale, that's what I'm guessing. In reality, it's probably 10 but it feels heavy in this humid weather.
Anyway, enough about winter, enough apologies, enough rambling about weight because there are few things more boring than listening to a girl lament her weight, for real, I get it. I'm bored myself. It's just hard to undo six (or wasn't winter more like eight this year?) months of winter inactivity, even though that's no excuse.
I'm really here to put in a plug for the most beautiful advice column I have happened upon. Thanks to The Sun magazine for republishing one of her letters and introducing me to her. Thanks to Rachel for The Sun subscription these past two Christmases which has led to beautiful things for me.
Check her out:
Dear Sugar at www.therumpus.net.
Tomorrow I will post the column I keep reading and should really send to all my friends. It is heart wrenching and loving. It's something for young women to think about and remember. Life is fleeting and we get so wrapped up in so many things- we can't see it while we're in it. Sugar looks back and bares her soul for our benefit.
See, I'm laying the groundwork for a new good habit, a daily posting.
Will I remember? I'll give myself 21 days.
Now I have to go because I am completely hooked on these old Ally McBeal episodes. What did we do before Netflix watch instantly? Oh yeah, we paid $125 a month for cable. I still don't have TV. It is now 3 years.
Good Night and Happy Healthy Habit Forming!
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